The one thing i hate about going to the hairdresser, is that you are staring at yourself in the mirror the whole time. I don't really hate my looks, but those mirrors are revealing too much to my liking. And you sit there for at least twenty minutes, no chance of looking away.
One funny thing was when I saw my reflection in the mirror and followed it down, I saw a pair of big white feet wearing golden laced shoes. I didn't remember putting those on that morning,
and come to think of it, I did not recall my feet to be white nor that big. They belonged to the lady who was getting a haircut on the other side of the mirror wall. She must be seeing my dangling feet when looking underneath that wall. Funny, but off topic.
Although... there's always some weird things you discover while looking at yourself in the mirror for so long. I always see my puffy eyes and blemish on my skin. I look for wrinkles and sometimes find that I look so young. And that is not always a good thing, i can assure you that!
It's not nice when you are asked to show your id-card when entering a club. "I am so sorry ma'am, just see it as a compliment." I'm over thirty, gawd! It's worse when people see you as a kid, not taking you seriously. I'm not saying I'm a woman of the world, but i've surely had my learnings. Friendly and heartly, but not that sweet and innocent. Of course my length doesn't help and I'm not planning to dress older.
Okay, i might be a little confused about this age thing myself. I feel young, healthy and alive, everything is new and there is so much more to come. When I turned 30 I felt like a baby. When I turned 31, though, I felt that I had landed in my thirties for real. What does that mean?
I dunno...
After staring into the mirror for twenty minutes, I had a nice lunch. The waitress called me madame. Highly unusual in NL, but I didn't feel offended. Later that day I went to the bank to move my account to the town where my parents live. The lady there asked me if I was over 18. I did not like that.
I no longer feel the need to prove myself, to be taken seriously. It's not neccessary either that people see me as in my thirties, although I am happy and proud with my age. So, I look younger and maybe I feel younger. But I also feel mature and I know I don't talk nonsense. A little confusing for people who meet me for the first time. But fun too. And I get my respect.
One of the drivers in Tehran asked me how old I was. A logical following question was why I did not have any children. "In Iran we say it's better to take the fruit while it's young." Right. It was quiet for a few minutes then. "Or maybe, where you come from, the fruit stays young much longer." Clever, very clever.
Somebody told me that i have a more and stronger feminine air about me nowadays. Which was stimulated by my bond with Are. Now that I took as a compliment.
Age: look, energy and number. Within Culture. Expectations. I shift. Both ways. I was well on my way to have 'huisje, boompje, beestje', settled for. Now all lies open again. Everything is new. Taking my earlier learnings on the ride.
My birthday is just to figure out Dan Millman's nummerology, my horoscope and a good excuse to have a party. With that, I don't look down on people who are younger, or look up to people who are older. At least, not based on their age only.
I am 31. Sure, happy to show you my ID. I know, it's so hard to tell these days.
No comments:
Post a Comment